Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Super-make-it Sweep

Remember that old TV show, Supermarket Sweep? If you don’t, then you are younger than me and I hate you … just kidding ... sort of. Back to Supermarket Sweep, where contestants manically weave shopping carts through a mock grocery store, piling them high with as many groceries as can humanly be navigated without losing major body parts or frozen turkeys.

My last shopping trip, while in my own manic state of grocery cart speed racing with toddler twins and toddler older sissy, I envisioned myself as a contestant on the modern version of Supermarket Sweep: Super-make-it Sweep. If you can make it to the finish line, or in this case, the checkout, without losing turkey franks, a child and/or your sanity—you win. If you are interested in applying to be a contestant, please see game rules below.

Official Super-make-it Sweep Rules:

  1. Bribery is acceptable in the following conditions:
  • If you have a two-seater “car” grocery cart and three children. Ex: “Laura, if you give up your seat in the car for one of your twin sissies, I’ll give you a special treat.
  • Or: “Laura, if you stop your tantrum in the parking lot, because I made you give up your seat in the car cart, I’ll give you a special treat.”
  1. Executing strong verbal suggestion ( a nice way to say threaten) is permitted in the following circumstances:
  • “Julia and Elizabeth, if you try to escape out of the car cart, you’ll be in big trouble!”
  • “Laura, if you bonk sissies on the head one more time, I’ll take away your special treat!
  • “Laura, if you talk nasty to sissies one more time, I’ll take away your special—oh, wait, I’ll take away another treat I haven’t bribed you with yet!!!!”
  1. You will be disqualified if any of the following occur:
  • One or more of your children escape from your shopping cart.
  • You knock over one or more grocery display—who puts a vodka display right next to the milk aisle anyway?
  • You realize after all groceries have been bagged that you forgot your wallet in the car, or worse, at home.
  • You scream LOUDER than your children either on store premise, in parking lot or in your minivan.
  • You break into tears, hives or hysteria at any point during your shopping experience.
Applications for game participation are now being accepted. Happy shopping!

No comments:

Post a Comment