Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Five Minute Rice

Last night I walked into an explosion of rice. There was so much rice in fact, that it looked as if a wedding had taken place right there in my kitchen. As far as I know however, it’s not customary to shower a bride and groom with chunks of chicken (visibly mixed in with rice).

I’d like to say that I responded to my first glimpse of the rice apocalypse (in my less than 5 minute absence) in a calm and collected manner. The truth is: I did not. I don’t fancy myself as a “screecher,” but my initial reaction to the rice and chicken dinner massacre probably had the entire neighborhood (and surrounding areas) wondering if a coyote had come out of the desert mountains. Even the three children, ages three and under responsible for the rice and chicken dinner massacre looked not so much scared, as impressed by my howling.

“How could you three do this?” I yowled. “I was gone from the kitchen less than 5 minutes!”

In response to my first question was laughter from all three children. In response to my latter statement was the expression—“And???” on the face of Laura (3.99yrs) and more laughter from twins Julia and Elizabeth (2yrs).

I have come to three revelations as a result of the rice and chicken incident: 1. Never ever leave a room full of food and toddlers with the expectation it will not end up all over the floor, table and chairs—not even if you’re gone for less than 5 minutes. 2. Screeching and asking a silly question does not change the fact that you still have to clean up rice and chicken chunks. 3. Less than a ½ cup of rice appears more like 5 ½ cups of rice when dispersed into the far reaches of your kitchen.

Please proceed with caution before preparing your next rice and chicken dinner.


  1. Oh my. I cannot imagine those three 10 yrs from now... By the time they are grown, you're going to be like my mom - the most patient woman in the world BY NECESSITY! Either that or you'll be insane. It's a toss up. :) Love you!!

  2. lol...Erin I miss you so much! Please kiss all of those beautiful girls for me!!

  3. This part made me giggle like a nerd at a pocket protector store, "Less than a ½ cup of rice appears more like 5 ½ cups of rice when dispersed into the far reaches of your kitchen." I know this very well from my own adventure called, "slipped in the kitchen with a rice cooker in my hands."